He wanted to feel guilt, he thought as he poured himself another drink, the splash of the liquid in the glass breaking the room's silence. Guilt! Guilt! Guilt, damn it, give me guilt! he thought, and emptied the glass very quickly.Still, no guilt.Roger started in his chair from the sudden knowledge that the room was not empty. Was he going mad? No, no... it was just that so seldom did anyone join him in here. He twisted his head and saw Ellen walking across the room behind him to a cabinet. She opened it, retrieved something, closed it, and walked nonchalantly all the way across the room and out again, neither glancing at her father nor away from him.Maybe things were not so bad after all. Yes, maybe the little event could be tucked into the past and forgotten since Ellen hadn't seemed to be affected by it just then. Scar tissue did, after all, grow over wounds; there must be some analogous process... Roger left the thought unfinished as his mind, more relaxed now, began to forget. Just a man waiting for the elevator, staring at the floor indicator and probably thinking about his next destination. He never looked at her, even as she stood beside him, waiting.She left the hotel and drove home, feeling more depressed than ever. This affair with Ted had to end. She would tell him the next time he called. She would meet him and end it in person. That she owed him. This was a foolish thing she had done and it certainly accomplished nothing. She had begun to realize that what she was missing in her marriage was something inside her, not something she could find in other places or with other men. She needed help to find out what was bothering her and she had to seek out that help before she ruined her life and the life of her children and her husband. She made the decision to begin that process tomorrow.Without anyone knowing what she was doing, Roz made an appointment with a woman psychologist she knew. She went to her first visit the following Friday and decided to.
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